Happy Thanksgivukkah!

Happy Thanksgivukkah!

I’ll be taking this week off to spend time with my family, but I leave you with two supercool things to start your week off right. First, here’s a link to a fun Thanksgivukkah festival in LA:

You can participate in funding this festival and help other great causes in the process. From their fundraising site:

In line with our t-shirts and Notecards sold on Moderntribe.com, 10% of the proceeds of the festival goes to Mazon, a Jewish Response to Hunger with the rest of it going to fund theatre programming for at risk kids at The Pico Union Project.

The second thing I leave you with is this Craigslist post advertising a loveseat for sale here in Austin. It’s quite possibly my all-time favorite Craigslist post. It’s indescribable, really…you just have to experience it for yourself. To quote William Hurt in The Big Chill, “Sometimes you have to just let art flow over you.” Here’s the loveseat:

Think it’s pretty average? Here’s what the seller has to say about it:

Do you have too many guests coming in from out of town and not enough places to sleep? Problem solved! Buy my couch. You can’t afford not to. 

This couch is so awesome that I’m doing it a disservice by not photoshopping in rad explosions and unicorns farting sparkly iridescent rainbow clouds behind it. It deserves a better backdrop than my messy apartment. Thus, you need to take it. 

I have, strangely enough, managed to profit off of this couch. My couch surfer last year bought my F1 tickets…which were worth approximately $One Fifth of a Miata. (Yes, Miata is a unit of currency.) Another couch surfer tossed me a totally unexpected wad-o’-cash after buying me food most of the time he was here. 

Unfortunately, this couch has become a mere shelf for (clean) 944 parts, so that means a) I really need to find more race car storage and b) it’s time for it to go. 

This is a beige sleeper couch that comes complete with a full size fold-out mattress, which you can sell out to your heart’s content, then later use to count money on while feeling like a cross between Scrooge McDuck and the Monopoly guy.

To be honest, you don’t even really need to fold out the mattress for excellent nappin’. Because it is longer than your average loveseat, I can comfortably curl up and nap with everything folded away. The entire length will hold 5’4″ of

[short] person on top of the cushions.

The material is a cozy, slightly fuzzy beige and white weave, which is great for Texas’ heat since you won’t stick to it when it’s warm. (I’m glaring at you, leather replacement couch.)

Is the mattress comfortable? No. Tell your houseguests to man up because it’s better than sleeping out in the barn with the goats. If you don’t have goats, you should consider getting them. Then this threat will be more credible. Also, goats are cute.

Either way, if you have a flufftastic twin-sized mattress pad, tossing that on top of the fold-a-bed could make a world of difference. (Sorry, one of these is not included.)

This couch is currently in a pet-free, smoke-free apartment, but prior to that, it lived with a cat and was somewhat of a pass-down in the Baylor Theatre department. I’m not sure exactly where all it’s been. It may or may not have had famous buttocks sitting on it. I don’t know. I think my butt was on Jalopnik once, and it may or may not have been described in disturbingly detailed fashion. 

Full disclosure: it needs cleaning. I spilled tea on the cushion and down the front, which I tried to get out with furniture cleaner and only seemed to make worse. (That’s not cat wee. Really.) I don’t understand cleaning, so I usually make someone else do it. Oops.

There are other small dribbles here and there that I have tried and failed to clean up, and thus, I can vouch that this couch doubles as an excellent dinner table.

There are also a couple places where the couch is actually bursting open from all the awesomeness inside, but luckily, they are not in noticeable places. One is on the top of the back of the couch, and the other is at the base of one of the upright cushions, right above where the mattress folds out. You can’t even see that second spot unless you remove the cushions anyway.

If all else fails, its light color ensures that it is easy to cover up with even the cheapest, thinnest slipcover, and its classic shape means that it is easy to find a slipcover that fits.

Dimensions: 70″ long, 35″ deep and 34″ tall.

Capacity: Approximately 46 Fisher-Price Puffalumps of varying size and vintage. (See photo.) Or three normal-sized people. Or two sumo wrestlers. Whatever floats your goat, man.

Wait for it…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOOM. CRAZY STUFFED ANIMAL COUCH. Told you this was good. Continue…

**Puffalumps not included with couch.

Please arrange your own transport for this bottomless piggybank of money-making win. It’s upstairs, I’m a wuss, I have a mild phobia of going up and down my stairs (*shudders*), and I don’t have a truck, either. Bring at least one or two friends to help extract it from my place.

Cold hard cash money only. 

No trades unless you’re also hoarding 944 parts, or if the proposed trade involves the phrase “get this aircooled piece of crap off my lawn.” In that case, let’s talk. If not, nope. Bring baksheesh.

 

Have a great week and I’ll see you next Monday!

2017-09-21T16:22:32+00:00 Categories: Austin, TX, Craigslist, Seasonal|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

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