Mark Diaz' wood paneled wall from episode 3.
Despite Mark’s talent as a designer and his appealing on-camera persona, I’m not exactly interested in watching 50 Ways to Incorporate Wood Paneling Into Your Decor.
And I don’t know what happened to Leslie Ezelle this week. Girl is way too talented to be turning out this schlock:
Beyond the way that Kyan’s name is so haphazardly thrown on the wall, beyond the shower curtain stage setup, the cluttered mass of detritus strewn about and the EKG graphic on the closet doors, I don’t want to watch 50 Ways to Incorporate Black & White Portraits Into Your Decor either. If you see that element once in a room (for example, the bed), you might think it’s cute and creative. See it twice (over the nightstands) and you’re like, uh, okay. Throw that crap in a third time (over the stage) and my gawd, call the paramedics because my girl’s gone and OD’d on baby pictures.
At first glance, Kevin Grace’s family room looks comfy-cozy, but look a little closer and the furniture arrangement’s wonky. We have a collection of ottomans circling the fireplace–one of which is plopped atop the ubiquitous (for this season) postage stamp rug. Surrounding this grand fireplace with tiny castoff furniture diminishes what should be a bold focal point in the room.
I would certainly not call this the worst room in the house, so I can only assume that Kevin’s verbal bulldozing of the homeowners during his camera challenge is what sent him packing even after Leslie was booted. Although I appreciate Kevin’s apparent love of mid-century furniture and all things kitsche, I think he’s probably a better contender for on-air host than on-air designer. I find his personality endearing and funny–he just needs a bit more practice and he could be the next Clive Pearse. (Or another Clive Pearse–can’t we have both?)
I didn’t want to see Leslie go home either, but when I compare all of the badness in the house, her room does fall to the bottom.
If I were these homeowners, I would feel like I needed a makeover after my makeover–Karl’s master bedroom is the only room in the house that would stay as-is. A short list of furnishings are worth keeping: Mark’s dining table and wood room divider; Kevin’s coffee table, striped chair, and shelving units in the family room; and Leslie’s oversized orange desk lamp. Other than that, I’d start over in Mason’s and Kyan’s bedrooms, toss Mark’s ugly living room sofas, perform a woodectomy in the dining room, liberate the living room from the ghastly ghost of wallpaper border and repaint nearly every wall in the house. I’d hit the reset button in Meg’s foyer and upstairs landing as well.
I can’t say I won’t watch next Monday night’s episode of Design Star, but c’mon HGTV. If I wanted to watch designers churn out sucky room after sucky room, I’d tune in to Spice Up My Kitchen.
Raise the effing bar already.