I almost fell asleep Monday night during Design Star’s kitchen snore.
We had one ugly kitchen
Kitchen designed by Cathy Hobbs and her assistant, Karl Sponholtz.
…followed by another ugly kitchen
Kitchen designed by Kellie Clements and Mark Diaz.
I have never been so underwhelmed in my whole life.
Strangely, when Kellie found this mush-colored, been-on-the-market-at-least-six-years penny tile, she exclaimed, “I’m so excited, I could pee my pants!”
Kellie Clements' proud penny tile backsplash.
Tile I would pee my pants over:
San Antonio native Tracey Reinberg's Kismet Tile.
Another Kismet Tile selection.
Yes, another Kismet Tile. Because it's that awesome.
A little Ann Sacks, thrown in for good measure.
Kevin and Meg had a good thing going until they started overstyling the space.
Kitchen designed by Kevin Grace and Meg Caswell.
Accessory mishmash.
The judges don’t seem to mind that the fridge is 100 miles from the sink and stove. Guest judge Paula Deen acts like Meg invented the pegboard pot storage idea.
Meg Caswell's pegboard pot storage.
As if Julia Child isn’t famous for it.
Julia Child and her pegboard wall of cookware.
Julia’s wall was made even more famous in a movie.
Scene from Julie & Julia, starring Meryl Streep as Julia Childs. (2009)
Meryl Streep was in it, so maybe you saw it. I’m guessing Meg saw it a couple of times.
Leslie and Tyler created what would be a decent-looking kitchen in real life, but was a dud on camera.
Kitchen designed by Leslie Ezelle and Tyler Wisler.
Tyler couldn’t resist something shiny.
Tyler's unfortunate seating selections.
I was wrong when I thought Tyler was going to play the diva of the bunch, but I hit the nail on the head when I predicted he’d be undone by the shiny.
After all of this boring crap, we were treated to the premiere of Donna Destroys Decorates Dallas, featuring Design Star Season 1 finalist and Dallas designer, Donna Moss. I only saw five minutes, but here’s how I felt the entire time this was on my teevee:
Take a cup of Kardashian mom and daughters storefront reality show setup, add 4 cups Jerseylicious-styled Texas stereotypes, then combine that with the train wreckitude that is Toddlers & Tiaras. After you fold in a year’s supply of Mary Kay Cosmetics applied in one shot to Donna’s face, stir in heaping helpings of leopard print and gaudy-a-go-go, voila! You have Donna Decorates Dallas.