OMG, this definitely falls into some sort of alternate reality. They are selling this WOOD SLICE at West Elm for…

…wait for it…

…wait for it…

$29.

No, that wasn’t a typo or a misprint (at least not here, you could make a case for it possibly being an error on their site). They are really selling a wood slice for nearly thirty bucks. ONE wood slice!

Now I can appreciate that the main office is in Brooklyn (I believe), and they did specify that it’s an acacia wood slice–the implication being that this is a super rare tree slice and should be coveted accordingly– but let me pass on a little secret to you West Elm people:

Trees and slices of same are readily available all over the country.

If you, the reader, are looking at this tree slice and saying to yourself, “man, I have really got to get me one of those $29 tree slices,” then I will make you a deal. I will sell you a tree slice for $20 and we will both make out like bandits.

But let’s keep it on the down-low. I still rent.