Whatever you do, no matter how desperate your budget or how handy you think you are, do not under any circumstances purchase this filing cabinet from Ikea:
This filing cabinet puts the “ass” in “self-assembly.”
If you ignore my advice and buy this filing cabinet, here is what you will need in addition to the noted tools and provided supplies:
1. A day off. At least a half day. I’m pretty handy and have assembled plenty of furniture in my day. I actually enjoy figuring out how things are put together and what makes ordinary things work. And still, between Jeb and I, we have devoted five hours to assembling this unit and we still have 3 steps to go…
2. One box Puffs Plus facial tissues. You will cry at some point during this process, even if you’re Mr. Manly Man.
3. A Xanax (or two). If you refuse the Xanax, you might want to leave a note telling your family which restful looney bin you would like to be carted off to when you finally lose grip on your sanity.
4. Band-Aids.
5. Suicide prevention hotline number on speed-dial.
6. High protein snacks and at least 48 oz. of water. You are in this for the long haul, and if you’re like me and hate to leave a project unfinished just to satisfy the need for a nosh, you need these items close by.
7. If you’re a parent, hire a babysitter with a good driving record. Your kids shouldn’t see you like this. Make sure they’re a good six miles away so they don’t hear the screams and the cursing.
8. Icepick. This was actually called for in the instructions for the Ikea desk we also put together today. Although we didn’t have an icepick, it would have made a fantastic implement for taking out our frustrations on this filing cabinet. Polka dots are in, right?
9. Touch-up paint. More than likely, there will be a few dings and scratches to cover up after you throw a few of these pieces of laminated chip board around in frustration.
10. Bottle of wine. This is for after you walk away from the project. You will definitely benefit this one time from drowning your sorrows. I know I did.
Seriously, don’t put yourself through this.
*Sob.*
Why am I crying? Because I bought two of these suckers and I have to face the beast again tomorrow. Please send chocolate.
I hear you! I'm stuck and I have built many things more complicated but never lost hair from pulling or vocal chords from screaming!!! Can't get the "click" to "click" on the bottom drawer. Ikea is NOOOO HELP.
That is exactly where I thought I would finally start crying like a girl! It turns out to be much simpler a process than it appears. You're not looking for a "click" when you put the two pieces together…if you look at each piece, you can see how they're supposed to fit together (those little hook-like things that stick out and poke down). You position the back/sides unit over the drawer front and then slide up. That's when you'll get the "click" they're talking about. Call me if you can't make it work…maybe I can walk you through it over the phone.
I should note that the 2nd time I put one together, it was a complete cakewalk…
It took me 3 hours to get to step 19 (out of 45) putting together a file cabinet and I been praying the whole way. Just realized they neglected to put one of the panels in the box. Now I’m beyond frustrated. Will call ikea tomorrow, but not looking forward it. Still praying…
I paid someone to assemble it (and my Pax wardrobe) for me. No crying, no stressing and done in one hour. 🙂
Now, of course, two years after I bought my filing cabinet, I can’t open it. Why? Because I made the stupid mistake of locking it. So if I can’t find a way to get in, the crowbar is coming out.
Hysterical! I ran across your story after putting together a Galant cabinet, but not the filing one. It was the typical IKEA experience – always requiring more time than you think. And you really have to study those wordless diagrams, especially the little blow-ups. There’s always some random detail in there that has to be noticed and adhered to or you’ll spend a lot of time unscrewing things you’ve already put together. Would it kill them to put simple directions in the 5 most common languages at crucial junctures? Millions of people might be able to leave their prescription bottles in the medicine cabinet.
I will say that it’s like training in concentration and attention to detail. IKEA may have inadvertently begun a mindfulness mini-course. And when done – voila! You feel a sense of accomplishment that Pottery Barn just can’t provide.
Well I’m not all that handy and I was able to put it together in 2.5 hours. The second one took the same amount of time. I could see how you could have problems with this. Perhaps I just got lucky. I have to say it’s a pretty great piece of furniture.
You are hilarious! I feel better after a good laugh. I thought I was the only one that felt that way putting IKEA furniture together.
Luckily, I just don’t buy IKEA anymore because of their political views.
Thanks for the chuckle!
My husband and I did it in 3 hours (2 lateral drawers and the bookcase on top). This article cracked us up…. when we were done! Lol
This was a perfect and hilarious way to sum up this piece. I am no stranger to ikea furniture, love building and assembly, have built many a desk, dresser, bed, drawer sets. Took me 3 1/2 hours and this bastard won’t freaking lock.
The stupid drawer clips wouldn’t click in and the damn drawer face took another person to help hold the damn thing to get it to click.
Should also mention that I’m freaking 5 months pregnant and cannot drink. This was a cruel cruel joke in assembly.
Help. After about three hours I have the Galant file cabinet assembled, but we cannot figure out how to adjust the drawers. They do not close flush to the cabinet. The instructions led me nowhere. Amy help?
I figured out my problem, thanks anyway. I discovered that when you put the drawers in place they have to click not once, but two or three times for them to push all the way into place. What an ordeal, lol!!
Glad you worked it out!
They should put a warning label on these things. “Requires hammer, screwdriver, and booze to assemble.”
Sorry I’ve been so negligent in approving comments to old posts. Hope you’re feeling well!