This episode of Design Star finds us at Oak Lawn, the supposedly haunted historic former mansion of Tammy Wynette and George Jones. Ghostly shenanigans abound at convenient intervals to move the episode along–accessories flying off the walls, disappearing extension cords, and the mysterious reappearance of a disposed paint tray–whether these events were fact or fiction remains to be seen. I would vote for the latter.

This episode was so BOR-ing, so I’m not going to spend a lot of time chatting about it. The challenge was to modernize four near-identical living rooms and incorporate a yard sale item into the space. Let’s just hit the highlights, shall we?

D. Paul & Trish

This pair seemed to work well together but did not stretch as far in terms of the modernizing side of life. They created a forest green, overplayed gentleman’s club sort of room. D. Paul was called onto the carpet for spending a lot of time enhancing the crown molding…in reality he did a nice thing for the room, but it wasn’t a dramatic enough change to warrant the effort. Trish’s yard sale item, a tacky metallic art piece, was brilliantly converted into a planter base, but I found it curious that they stuck it on an unnecessary table in the corner of the room rather than showcasing it on the coffee table. Instead, they put this lonely urn-style vase on the coffee table…a questionable design choice at best. I did like their paint color and think if they’d incorporated simple khaki furniture into the space and some zebra prints and African textiles, they could still have had their manroom but with a modern twist.

And Trish? Will not crack. Not a single tear shed so far. When will she finally break down and make my prediction come true? Stephanie sobbed hysterically during the final throes of episode one. Crazee Tracee has had crying fits through both of the last two episodes. Will someone please take away Trish’s Mary Kay bag so we can finally see her cry and I can retain some semblance of the voice of authority here?

Michael & Matt

These guys seemed to have a vision early on…black walls, white art objects (using Matt’s white mannequin legs as one of the pieces), blah blah blah. They were feelin’ it, I was not. Black walls, yes. Mannequin legs on a pedestal, not so much. It just seemed too simplistic for someone of Matt’s ability to stick his object unchanged on a pedestal. Well, thank gawd my man Matt’s light bulb finally went off and he started slicing and dicing those plastic legs into mod botanicals to insert into Michael’s garage sale vase. Phew!

The end result of this room was fairly sophisticated, with awesome couches, but three blank black walls are just not acceptable. Also, I hated…well, loathed…the “art” behind the vase on the fireplace. Seemed kinda cheesy to me.

When Cynthia Rowley said she loved their room, Michael exploded into such arm-flailing and air-suckage, I thought I would die laughing.

Crazee Tracee & Jen

Here we go! For some reason, Jen starts out seemingly to allow CT to drive the bus on color and furniture selection. Note to Jen: if someone is taken to task for poor design choices on an earlier challenge, you may not want this person to be in control of buying all of the elements going into your room.

This room seemed all over the map. I don’t mind an eclectic approach but this room seemed to suffer from an identity crisis. That, and an appalling paint choice–saccharine sweet mint green. Also, the walls were as naked as the mannequin “art” on the fireplace.

It came as no surprise that the claws did come out midway through the execution of the room…anyone working with Crazee is going to have a problem expressing a differing opinion from hers. Crazee tried to chalk the discord up to the other designers considering her too much of a threat. Why is it that every reality show contestant who utters the phrase, “they just see me as being too much of a threat,” is never the one who actually demonstrates talent?

Mikey V & Stephanie, a.k.a. Stax

Mikey V proved himself to be focused. Stax held up her airhead rep. (“I like this one better because it looks expensiver.”) They seemed to complement each other stylistically though, so good for them. The final room was fine–pretty fleshed out compared to the other rooms. The trouble I had with the space was that the moldings added above the new chair rail were too large and terribly out of proportion. I loved Mikey’s yard sale conversion project…he turned a set of shelves into a bench seat. Yard sale item a la Stax? Meh.

Crazee Tracee and D. Paul ended up on the chopping block. Who went home? D. Paul. Did you really think they were going to eliminate this season’s villain so soon?

Interestingly enough, when I did a little research on the Interwebs, I discovered this house was just listed for rent yesterday. So if you’re looking for a spacious rental in Nashville with some quirky provenance, check it out!